Sisterhood...

Myself & some of the lovely ladies I consider my 'sisters'
at my Halloweenie Roast Masquerade.

My work life has been less than rosy lately. I work with mostly women who are so completely different than me in every way, shape and form imaginable. They're skinny and polished with perfect hair and make-up. They don't mind making fun of people over lunch on Fridays, read chick lit obsessively, and they think people like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are the be-all, end-all of music.

I've always been a curvy girl with glasses. I'm not perfect, but if I don't have something nice to say I generally keep my mouth shut. I listen to bands most of these girls have never heard of and read nonfiction book on topics like the Columbine shootings and the founding of Rolling Stone magazine to educate myself on topics I'm interested in.

To say I don't really fit in is an understatement at this point. And lately, the gap between 'me and them' seems to grow wider. On top of it all, instead of feeling like we're all working towards one common goal, I constantly feel like I'm working with people who are scared you're trying to steal their success rather than help them be successful - a viewpoint I just don't understand. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to please them.

And it's slowly killing me - which is why tonight was such a blessing.


Earlier this year, I wrote this blog post about how all it takes is one phone call to brighten your day. Summary: the woman featured in an article published in the magazine I work for last spring owns a women's shelter, Mercy House, and as a direct result of publishing the article, she started receiving phone calls from people who could assist her in growing her mission.

I got to help grow that mission a little bit more tonight.

The week of Thanksgiving, I got a phone call at work from a reader wanting to know what women's shelters are in our area. At first, my mind was blank. "That is a fantastic question - I'm not sure that there are any..." I told her. The woman - who charmingly introduced herself as a Cajun straight from Looziana - told me all about her little boutique (Yaya Chique, for the record - cute store!) that is quite literally in my backyard and bubbled over with her desire to help women in the suburbs where we live. She was throwing her annual Christmas party in just a few weeks and wanted to find a local charity geared towards women to give donations to.

Then suddenly Mercy House popped into my head. I shared with her. I gave her the founder's information. I hung up and hoped in some small way I had helped.

Tonight was the party, and I got to attend. I got to see Mercy for the first time in almost a year and hear about how much more her shelter has grown. I got to meet Debi, the woman behind Yaya Chique. And I got to be inspired and reminded that not all women are the polar opposite of me - some are very much the same.

I got to talk with these two amazing ladies about how important it is for women to empower themselves and to build each other up rather than tear each other down. I got very quiet while they were talking and soaked everything in - it is so easy to get dragged down by everything going on at work and all the emotions I have surrounding my job and workplace currently. But to know there's women out there who think like I do and truly believe in the concept and practice of sisterhood...it made me feel a little bit better.

I've spent this whole week driving to work every morning, sick to my stomach with worry about what I'll be told I'm doing wrong today or that I'll just be flat out fired. I feel so uncomfortable that I feel like I can't even do a job I know how to do because I'm constantly second guessing myself. I'm also a firm believe in "If you don't like something and you have the power to change it, change it." I'm trying my best to be patient to hear back on a new opportunity, to count the days and realize each day is one less I'll have to be in an environment where everyone's watching their own back and no one else's. But it's hard, and I'm not very good at being patient when I've been trying to be patient for two months.

Sometimes you just need a little reminder that you're almost through it and soon you'll find what you're looking for again...

'Soon' cannot come soon enough.