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I miss you. A lot. I hate that we don't spend time together anymore, and I'm a big enough person to admit it's completely my fault.
See, I've been writing - seriously writing - for years. Well over a decade, in fact. It started in high school when my creative writing teacher got me addicted to writing in journals. Fifth period became my favorite part of the day, where I'd spend the 48 minute class pouring my soul onto paper...a practice that would usually bleed over into sixth period pre-calculus and probably didn't do my steady-B-that-could-have-been-an-A-if-I-just-applied-myself any favors since I spent most of my time making sense of the thoughts in my head rather than sense of the numbers that didn't compute.
I started blogging in high school too - a practice that carried over into college and became a daily ritual. A day didn't feel complete without a blog or a good five pages (front and back) knocked out in my journal. I went from writing my racing thoughts to crafting flash fiction, twisting pieces of my day into a beautiful, lyrical snapshot.
Writing is how I learned who I am - without it, I don't know who I am. It's the only way I know how to completely express what's happening in my head. Ask me to talk it out? It'll come out in distorted bits and pieces because about 90% of the time, I'm still too scared to say everything that's going on inside my head for fear of people having any kind of a reaction to it. But when I put it in words on a piece of paper? It makes sense. It comes out how it's supposed to.
Life has been a lot of ups and downs this fall. A lot of swimming in an open sea, having no idea where I'm headed or what I'm doing. But life keeps whispering in my ear, telling me I need to do the impossible: write a novel. Be the next JK Rowling, as my dad puts it. (He likes to set the bar high - for now, I'll aspire to the Stephenie Meyer level...because if she can write a best-seller, so can I.) I have the story - a trilogy, to be exact - in my head, right down to the brilliant marketing plan. But it needs to be put on paper.
But how can you write a book when you don't force yourself to write every single day? The thing that makes you a writer is discipline - something I know I have very little of, something I need to strive towards. And that starts with blogging, as much as possible. You can't call yourself a writer if you don't write every day.
So here goes, blogging. We're going to become close again, even if we don't always have meaningful conversations for the world to read. You and I are gonna become the best-friends-turned-lovers that we used to be, and I'm going to relearn the discipline I once had, and by the end of 2012, I'm going to have written a book...because I've spent too much time over the last two-point-five-years telling myself "someday."
Someday is today.
Love,
a girl who likes words
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