Happy Birthday to...me.

Today I turn 29 and for some reason this age feels like a milestone to me. I guess because if you think about
it, technically today launches me into my 30th year of life - and 30 is a milestone birthday.

But I think it's also because there was a time I couldn't even foresee being this age, much less what my life would be like. It seemed far off, unattainable, impossible even.

Yet here I am.

It’s been a crazy decade. Just a few months after turning 20, I moved away from everything I knew, everyone I loved, to go live in a city where I knew no one. I thought I might be crazy for doing it. I spent the entire summer before awash in self-doubt and second guessing my life-altering decision.

But in the end? It was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself and led me to learn so much about who I am, who I wanted to be and – perhaps most importantly – who I didn’t want to be.

I am: quiet, soft spoken, big-hearted (to a fault, sometimes), eager to please and observant. I let people make me feel bad for being a number of these things because it didn’t make me a strong person. But I realized not everyone needs to be loud, outgoing and the best at everything. The world needs people to sit back, observe and give us insight on how it works. I’d much rather be the quiet one in the corner than the loud one talking just to fill the silence.

I wanted to be: a published writer, a “good” groupie, an independent woman who could take care of herself and maybe someday a girlfriend/wife/mother. Some of these I’ve accomplished in pieces, but I’m still working on all of them. Now instead of just being a published writer, I want to redefine the rock novel. Instead of just being a good groupie, I want to be The Good Groupie. I think it’s pretty cool how these things evolve and your goals grow bigger as you realize you can do it.

I don’t want to be: overbearing, manipulative, uncompromising, inconsiderate, a bad listener or just flat out mean. No one is perfect. We all have our moments when we are these things, whether we like it or not. But I try my very best not to be these things because they are ugly characteristics I see in others and dislike.

So as my 30th year of life starts, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on me. I know who I am and what I want from life – and I’m working towards it. That’s what your 20s are all about, right?

If so, mission accomplished. Let’s celebrate and get on to the challenge of turning 30 in 365 days!

Today is The Day

Today is The Day.

For someone out there, this is the day that changes everything. As you watch a TV screen, read a Tweet or hear it from a friend, it's the day that means your world will never be the same again.

Because you realize how horrifically evil humans can be to one another. You realize there are terrible people out there who do awful things to purposely hurt others, often without reason or rhyme. You realize you're never safe because monsters will lurk into the shadows of your world and will completely destroy it when you least expect it.

I hate that for someone out there, today is The Day.

My Day was September 11, 2011. When my anatomy and physiology teacher first told us the news, I laughed. In hindsight, I know it was an absolutely awful gut reaction, but yes. I let out a small chuckle that morning. Because who could be blind enough to accidentally fly into the top of a huge building in New York City, much less crazy enough to do so purposely? Surely my teacher was making it up.

But he wasn't. And the rest of that class period I felt myself slipping further and further away from something. A news junkie since age 13, all I could do when I came home from school each day that week was sit and watch the news and cry. I couldn't understand how a person could have so much hatred in their heart that they would be willing to do such a horrible thing. I'm still not sure I understand. In fact, after December 14, 2012 I know I don't.

That something I felt slipping away from me? I realize now that was the week, the day, the moment I went from being a child living in this world, dreaming of changing it with my writing and knowing perfection was a possibility to becoming a young woman who realized there's no such thing as perfection because sometimes bad things happen and you can't explain or change them. It's just a part of life.

That day changed how I saw the world and my understanding of my place in it.

That day was The Day.

And that's what I think of every time something horrible happens for no apparent reason. That for someone out there, today is Their Day. It's the day that changes their world and makes them see it a little more clearly - for better or worse.

We should be able to do better than this. Can't we do better than this?

Girly TV Madness

My coworker Joanne listens to Cosmo Radio on Sirius on a pretty regular basis. She came up to my desk this morning and handed me this: the Girly TV Madness bracket. Forget March Madness, I'll take TV shows over basketball any day.

I filled mine out, and after you see ALL the shows listed...you'll probably be surprised by what won my bracket. It's not the show you'd expect. You can either save the image above or go here to download/print your own. I'd be interested to know what show wins everyone else's brackets. (I'll share mine soon.) You can also head over to the show's (Cocktails with Patrick) Facebook page to participate in the listener voting each day.

That's all for now - back to work and overplaying the new JT album.

Houston Public Library book sale

Yesterday I stopped by the Houston Public Library's annual book sale - they get rid of all the extra or worn out books in their libraries inventory...and if you go on Sunday morning of the sale, everything you can fit in a brown paper shopping bag is $10.

It's pretty awesome. But it's also a lot of sorting through 10,000 Danielle Steele and Nora Roberts novels to find those rare gems you might never have come across otherwise.

I didn't find quite as many gems this time around, but I still had a full bag and decent haul. A few music books, lots of new fiction. All in all, worth the trip, time and $10 - plus is supports the library.

I always seem to have a theme when I go bargain book shopping. Yesterday's? Books set in the 50s, 60s & 70s.

Here's what I scored:

Fiction
Scoop by Kit Frazier
London Calling by Deborah Grabien
The Seance by John Harwood
Purple Daze by Sherry Shahan
The Man Who Would be F. Scott Fitzgerald & The Woman Who Fell From Grace by David Handler
Scrapped Princess by Ichiro Sakaki
The Unquiet Night by Patricia Carlton
The Red Devil Battery Sign by Tennessee Williams
Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes (my obligatory chick lit purchase...)
The Ruins of California by Martha Sherrill
Hotel No Tell by Dahne Uviller
Town House by Tish Cohen
The Muse Asylum by David Czuchlewski


Nonfiction
Inventing Late Night: Steve Allen and the Original Tonight Show by Ben Alba
On Record: Rock, Pop and the Written Word - ed. Simon Frith and Andrew Goodwin
The Show I'll Never Forget - ed. Sean Manning

Communications Manager Day

Friday at work was "Communications Manager Day" - hey, that's ME! And this is the awesomely amazing bag I got my cookies in. It pays to bond over Harry Potter with people, guys. Seriously.

And okay, so this isn't a real holiday or anything...back in October when we had a little celebration for Bosses Day, our CMDO said we should all have days...so our admin assistant abided and drew up a calendar with days for everyone - from PR Manager to Data Researcher Day, we got one for everyone!

Just another reason why I love my job - we have fun. A lot of fun. Maybe too much fun...